What began as an adventurous birthday surprise for her husband turned into a life-changing moment of clarity for one woman in Portland, Oregon.
In 2020, 36-year-old Theresa Rose organized a threesome with another woman as a gift for her husband. While the evening seemed like a dream scenario for him, it marked a moment of awakening for Rose. That night, she says, she discovered a long-buried truth: she was gay, and had spent years in a marriage that didn’t reflect her true identity.
“Experiencing that intimate interaction with a woman for the first time, the physical and emotional depth was [so intense],” Rose told the New York Post.
Within weeks of the encounter, Rose made the difficult decision to end her marriage. She filed for divorce and began the next chapter of her life — one defined by honesty, growth, and self-acceptance.
“I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is what’s been missing,’” she said. “After being with that woman, I said to myself, ‘This is why I’ve been so unhappy in my marriage.’ My relationship with my husband, emotionally, felt so shallow and lonely compared to my connection with the woman.”
Shortly after her separation, Rose began dating Jacqui Mettle, a woman she met during the early weeks of her self-discovery. The two have now been together for over a year and are raising Rose’s two sons, ages six and eight, together in Oregon.
But the journey hasn’t been without its hardships. Raised in a strict Catholic household, Rose was taught early on that “all gays go to Hell,” and says she suppressed her feelings toward women for much of her life. Coming out, even in adulthood, brought challenges she hadn’t anticipated.
When she told her husband about her realization, his reaction was far from supportive. According to Rose, he informed her “very conservative” parents and others in their Bible study group. The fallout was swift and painful. She says she was effectively ostracized from the community she had once called home.
The emotional toll was heavy. At her lowest, Rose admits she considered ending her life. But her relationship with Mettle gave her hope and support when she needed it most.
Now, she’s sharing her story on TikTok under the handle @Raising2Activists, where she’s gained a following of over 100,000 users by speaking honestly about her experience — from the threesome that changed her life to parenting as part of a same-sex couple.
“It feels so free to finally live authentically,” she said.
What started as a birthday gift became a turning point. And while the path hasn’t been easy, Rose says she’s grateful for the clarity, the love she’s found, and the freedom to be herself.